Oscars bad.

Personal Oscars

If I were the capricious god that could pick the nominees and winners of the Oscars, these would be the ones that would be my picks!!

My personal winner is the one who is bolded and italicized.

Supporting Actor

• Sam Eliot (A Star Is Born)
• Richard E. Grant (Can You Ever Forgive Me)
• Michael B. Jordan (Black Panther)
• Jesse Plemons (Game Night)
• Anton Yelchin (Thoroughbreds)

Supporting Actress

• Olivia Colman (The Favourite)
• Elizabeth Debicki (Widows)
• Mia Goth (Suspiria)
• Blake Lively (A Simple Favor)
• Michelle Yeoh (Crazy Rich Asians)

Note: Anne Hathaway in Ocean's 8 is my number 6.

Actor

• Bradley Cooper (A Star Is Born)
• Daveed Diggs (Blindspotting)
• Ryan Gosling (First Man)
• Ethan Hawke (First Reformed)
• Robert Redford (The Old Man And The Gun)

Actress

• Yalitza Aparicio (Roma)
• Elsie Fisher (Eighth Grade)
• Helena Howard (Madeline's Madeline)
• Dakota Johnson (Suspiria)
• Emma Stone (The Favourite)

Note: To think we're in a world where I give neither Dakota Johnson nor Emma Stone a fake Oscar. This is the degree to which Helena Howard rules.

Note 2: Rachel McAdams in Game Night is my VERY VERY CLOSE number 6.

Director

• Ryan Coogler (Black Panther)
• Bradley Cooper (A Star Is Born)
• Josephine Decker (Madeline's Madeline)
• Coralie Fargeat (Revenge)
• Luca Guadagnino (Suspiria)

Picture

• Eighth Grade
• The Favourite
• Game Night
• Revenge
• Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse
• A Star Is Born
• Support The Girls
• Suspiria
• Thoroughbreds
• Widows

Real Oscars

Because the universe is cruel and we don't live in the world where I get to capriciously and unilaterally pick the awards, here are my picks within the world of what actually got nominated.

Original Screenplay

Should Win: The Favourite

Will Win: The Favourite

Adapted Screenplay

Should Win: Can You Ever Forgive Me?

Will Win: BlackKklansmen

Visual Effects

Should Win: First Man

Will Win: Avengers Infinity War

Sound Mixing

Should Win: A Star Is Born

Will Win: Bohemian Rhapsody

Sound Editing

Should Win: Black Panther

Will Win: Bohemian Rhapsody

Live Action Short

Should Win: Idk, didn't see any

Will Win: Margeurite

Animated Short

Should Win: I guess Bao by default, but I didn't see any others

Will Win: Bao

Production Design:

Should Win: Black Panther

Will Win: The Favourite

Original Song

Should Win: Shallow (A Star Is Born)

Will Win: Shallow (A Star Is Born)

Score

Should Win: Black Panther

Will Win: If Beale Street Could Talk

Makeup And Hairstyling

Should Win: Vice

Will Win: Vice

Foreign Language Film

Should Win: Cold War (though I never got around to watching Shoplifters so maybe that would change)

Will Win: Roma

Editing

Should Win: BlackKklansmen

Will Win: Bohemian Rhapsody

Documentary Short

Should Win: ¯\(ツ)/¯

Will Win: A Night At The Garden

Documentary Feature

Should Win: Minding The Gap

Will Win: RBG

Director

Should Win: Spike Lee (BlackKklansmen)

Will Win: Alfonso Cuaron (Roma)

Costume Design

Should Win: Black Panther

Will Win: Black Panther

Cinematography

Should Win: A Star Is Born

Will Win: Roma

Animated Feature

Should Win: Spider-Man Into The Spider-Verse

Will Win: Spider-Man Into The Spider-Verse

Supporting Actress

Should Win: Emma Stone (The Favourite) ((I haven't seen Beale Street yet so maybe that would change my pick))

Will Win: Regina King (If Beale Street Could Talk)

Supporting Actor

Should Win: Richard E. Grant (Can You Ever Forgive Me?)

Will Win: Richard E. Grant (Can You Ever Forgive Me?)

Actress

Should Win: Olivia Colman (The Favourite)

Will Win: Glenn Close (The Wife)

Actor

Should Win: Bradley Cooper (A Star Is Born)

Will Win: Rami Malek (Bohemian Rhapsody)

Best Picture

Should Win: A Star Is Born

Will Win: Roma

Of note I can't fairly count "This Is Halloween" because it's purely from a movie musical with no real stage equivalent.

5: "Omigod You Guys" from Legally Blonde

4: "Belle" from Beauty And The Beast (I don't count the prologue.)

3: "Willkkommen" from Cabaret

2: "In The Heights" from In The Heights

1: "Bikini Bottom Day" from Spongebob Squarepants